Have you heard of the "I don't need feminism" movement?
If you don't know about it, have a look:
There are quite a few people out there who disagree with feminsm (that's no news, really), and many people who not only disagree but are actually completely against it. Fair enough, we are all entitled to have our own opinions. But whether these opinions will be respected and pondered upon or simply cast aside as b*****it, well, that depends on the arguments that are behind them.
So I decided to have a look at this movement in order to be able to express a matured and reasoned opinion.
And guess what? It's just as I expected.
Most of the reasons given for not needing feminism are the following:
-I don't hate men, so I don't need feminism
-I like being sexy, so I don't need feminism
-I feel like I'm being treated equally, so I don't need feminism
-I'm a man, so I don't need feminism
-I'm a man and I don't hate women, so men don't hate women, so we don't need feminism
-Women harrass men too, so I don't need feminism
-I don't believe that women are better than men, so I don't need feminism
-I like doing housechores, so I don't need feminism
-I like to be treated like a princess, so I don't need feminism
-I know how to take a compliment, so I don't need feminism
..There are several others, but just to give you an idea, that's more or less what most entries say.
Well.
Fisrt of all, this shows how most people don't really know what feminism is about.
Feminism isn't about placing women before men or believing that only women have issues.
Feminism is about believing that there should be no differences in the way women and men are treated: ALL SHOULD BE RESPECTED AND TREATED FAIRLY. Which quite frankly doesn't happen.
If you have never felt this inequality on your own skin, look around you and see how many do. Because you are fine (and lucky), it doesn't mean that everybody else is, so saying that you don't need feminism because you are being treated fairly is pretty much an egoistic point of view.
Besides, pardon me, but I don't believe that there is any woman out there who has never been treated differently just because she is female - maybe there are just many women who don't pay attention to certain details, like difference in wages or jokes made.
If you like being sexy and being told so, that's perfectly fine. But are you happy with people thinking that that's either your only value or your most important characteristic? You are? Well, fine. But are you happy when you have a hard time finding somebody who doesn't just want to have sex with you? Are you satisfied when you're being "used" once and then cast aside? Are you ok with not being asked what you would like, with giving pleasure to your partner but not feeling that he does the same for you? Hum.
Of course this doesn't always happen, it's not always the case, there are many many men who don't see women that way. But if you look at the amount of female nudes and porn aimed at men that you can find out there, the amount of images and entertainment material which treats women as mere sexual objects, you'll realise that there are many people out there who do see women as just that: sexual objects.
If you are fine with that, well, what can I say? Congrats.
However the point is, women who wish to be seen as more than just that should have the right to be seen as such.
And we all know perfectly well that not all men are sexist, that not all men despise women, that not all men treat them as objects and not all men hurt them. Thank God there are many men out there who treat women well! But there are still quite a few men who hit and rape women. And the real point is, those aren't the only unfair things a man can do to a woman. It can be requests, expectations, words, even looks.
Often it's not even men who are sexist towards women, but women towards other women. And I suppose that that's caused by many women thinking of certain attitudes as normal, and they reproduce those behaviours because they just don't stop and think about the real reasons and meanings behind them. Where does your hatred for different body tipes come from? Why do you expect all women to shave? ...
Another important point is, being a feminist doesn't mean that you are against make-up, against fashion, agaisnt house-chores, against marriage, or against motherhood. It simply means that you believe that any woman should have a right to choose for herself about these things. A woman shouldn't feel uncomfortable going shopping without any make-up on, she shouldn´t feel ashamed of going to the beach unshaved, she shouldn't feel that if she remains unmarried she will always be on the edge of society and she certainly shouldn't feel that she needs to be a mother in order to have society percieve her as a fulfilled human being.
It's hard to get past these expectations that are so much embedded in our societies and ways of thinking. It's hard to free yourself from them and actually make your own choices, decide whether to wear make-up because you feel like and not because you should or whether you'd rather just not wear any. Of course this sounds trivial, but it's just the bottom line example of a ladder of compelled choices we make.
It's not like by being a feminist you are automatically free from these choices, by the way. I myself am a feminist but can't bring myself not to care about what people will think if I wear shorts without shaving. Being able to make certain choices (from the most trivial up to the most vital) is not just a matter of what you believe in, but also a matter of what the society you live in is like.
Based on all these considerations, I have come to the conclusion that I need to do something against a movement which basically is against choice and respect.
So what I've decided to do (and I hope I will keep it up), is to post a selfie every day with one reason that I have for being a feminist. Starting today.
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